Their psychology, thinking patterns and styles are advanced, but why can’t ours?

Their psychology, thinking patterns and styles are advanced, but why can’t ours?

My friends just repeatedly asked me this question: “Every time we come to this bar, there are always these foreign students (Korean, Russian, Japanese and so on), yet what makes their psychology, thinking patterns and styles so advanced if they also spend time drinking, dancing, smoking and sometimes hanging out until the bar is closed?” From my observation, it’s just their living environment that genuinely shapes their “psychology, thinking patterns and styles”. Also, it is conceded among us that because of strict law reinforcement (You can’t mess with the laws in China. Although it’s very crowded and so wild in the bar, but there’re occasionally any arguments or rough fighting.), the youngsters and club-goers including us are quite well-behaved. And the other factors such as effective time management, making priority of what they shall do, not to mention that some of them are committed to learning, and most importantly their rewarding reading habit are in deed attributable to their advanced psychology, thinking patterns and styles. 

(My message is that their psychology, thinking patterns and styles are advanced, but why can’t ours? What are we missing to develop our psychology, thinking patterns and styles to become advanced?)

The Successful Attitude

The Successful Attitude

Should you wish your tasks be equal to your responsibilities or vice versa? Shouldn’t you care to enhance your level of working performance and understanding? If you only choose either one as the answer for the first question, you’ll fail psychology quiz for managerial skills. No matter how low your responsibilities is, the promising aspect for successful working attitude appears that you uphold your “value &credit” through working your responsibilities and tasks to the utmost ability. In the meantime, you have to demonstrate your tolerance and enthusiasm in improving your knowledge& performance, your flexibility as well as your reasoning sense (Beware that in Cambodia, some people perceive the reasoning sense as stubbornness when they themselves are actually stubborn and poorly-informed). In successfully doing so, you’ll shine at your workplace and your honesty will be genuinely floating on the surface, the quality which your colleagues could envy you (Watch out!). 

Human's Stereotype

Like it or not, the bottom line is human's stereotype is simple, selfish, egotistic or even aggressive (It should not rule out that many of us are nice, friendly, reasonable and peaceful). Without quality education, without disciplinary and punitive actions and without rewarding living environment conducive to harmony& integration of understanding and social justice, people are prone to exploiting their superiority, ego and innate might to manipulate and violate the other people.  The above in-dept truth explicitly explains to why “check&balance” measurement and “rule of law” must have meaningful and genuine place in one society!  (No offense! A case of study only!)

Each of us is the Master, Creator and the Flexible Player of the Environment and of our Life!

Each of us is the Master, Creator and the Flexible Player of the Environment and of our Life!

If the rules are there to ensure the fairness in the game, the players know that only their own strength and competitiveness in physical and psychological trainings will determine victory or loss. But if there is nothing to ensure, the players will just have to resort to the "rules of the game creator". This analogy depicts the reality in life that each of us sometimes-if not always-has to play by the rules imposed by the living environment, the society. However, it does not necessarily suggest that each of us has to let loose of our self-disciplines, self-esteem and our own methods toward success and ideal life. Each of us can learn to give and take, to compromise, but we can't afford of not being conscious, diligent and wise. Recall that each of us is "the master, creator and flexible player" of the environment and of our life!

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Sometimes a person feels the universe moves in their favor, but some other times that same person feels very suppressed by the same universe. Maybe that's called life that a person needs to learn to convince, to apply patience and learn to tame the moody feelings.

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Some truths about “mind games”:

Without referee, without proper ethics codes of conducts (“there are two sides of a coin” is applied), mind games may go beyond transparency, accountability and fairness.

The objectives of mind game are to make the other side feel embarrassed, to go mad and to lose concentration. The tactics range from mocking personalities, mimic one’s speech, gesture or expressions in order to ridicule, to attacking on trivial flaws in works to baselessly condemning s.o. There have been little evidences that “the atmosphere where mind games are prevalent could significantly enhance level of professionalism or quality work.” Instead its negative impacts appear obvious such as: level of trust and cooperation is deteriorating, people’s moods are susceptible to be put on fire and worst, is the degrading professionalism. 

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Creator’s Mentality: Consistently empower and equip yourself with “creator’s mentality”, but not destroyer’s. It’s tough and enduring-as climbing a high mountain- to be infused with “creator’s mentality”. Think about planting a tree; think about building a house; think about improving intellectual ability; think about composing a writing, which requires deep understanding and sea of information. These takes “creator’s mentality to take care, take responsibility, take planning, take nurturing and take endurance to create rather than “destroyer’s mentality”. You can think in reverse about destroying something which just takes a blink of eye. Therefore, it’s good to realize whether you are empowered and equipped with creator’s mentality or destroyer’s. It’s also wise to not only think twice, but think deeply and wisely if you are obsessed with destroyer’s mentality!

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Relationship

Like its pan, like its cover.

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Among various factors such as spending time, getting to know each other and shared same values&understanding, understanding own personality is crucial before one embarks on the journey of love. The counterpart can promise taking care and taking responsibility for the future to come, but it does not really mean that another person should care free of taking own care and taking responsibility imposed in life!

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Teens should not define "marriage as escaping from boredom". Responsibilities always follow; therefore, don't ever think they can enjoy the fantasy from relationship after marriage without troublesome responsibilities.

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Allow me to speak as a man in the matter of relationship: Frankly speaking, a man's eyes are stolen by the beauty and styles of a lady. At first sight, a man's heart is surely captured by the beauty and styles. However, considering long-term relationship, men will compromise the beauty and styles of a lady to long-term, sustainable foundation-which is attitude, honesty and mutual understanding. That said,  an individual's perception-based on living environment, traditions, religion and educational level-, self-disciplines and social experiences are pivotal BEFORE marriage.

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Sometimes people are shy or embarrassed to acknowledge the weakness. It's people's natural instinct! In this light, it's proven wise not to "drop fuel on the burning fire", which means that attacking on people's weakness will not yield positive result of transformation, but the sharp opposite. Practically, as long as a person diligently works out to fix his/her weakness silently or openly, there should have encouragement in the form of "soft support or motivation".

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Everyone is unique-you can give and take; you can compromise. BUT, you can’t let yourself loose! These points are fundamental in relationship.

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 In Reference to MARRIAGE:

"Nobody can promise happiness to anyone, but you. It largely depends on how you perceive, appreciate and get along."

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It's somewhat stressful or even coercive if perfection is steadfastly demanded for relationship; it's rather practical if the best understanding&respecting of each other is on top of the agenda in this matter.

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Inspirations by Sudhir Krishnan (Repost)

Many of the issues we have in relationships arise thanks to not understanding and respecting our differences with others, while at the same time not appreciating how much similar we are. A greater awareness and appreciation of both the similarities and differences between ourselves and others can serve all our relationships very well ...- be it romantic, family, work, inter-culture, inter-religion or even relationships between nations. In recognizing the similarities between ourselves and others, we can develop tolerance, understanding, empathy, acceptance, compassion, and oneness. And in acknowledging the differences between ourselves and others, we can develop attraction, interest, admiration, excitement, appreciation, and respect. Both the similarities and differences between ourselves and others are thus very valuable, and with the increased awareness and appreciation of them, we can create relationships where we complete/complement the other rather than compete/conflict with the other, thereby leading to greater mutual fulfillment in all our relationships.

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Learn to choose. Learn to let the courage and confidence take over your decision and actions. Learn to take responsibilities. Nobody can promise "Happiness" to you, but you!

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Don't lose the sense of appreciation! Forget about egotism! Respect & honor is earned, not begged nor coerced! Demonstrate that you actually appreciate and honor people in the same way as much as you want to be appreciated and honored.

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Teacher-Based Classes Serve Students Poorly

Writing Material: Publication 4

Writing Material: Publication 4